Payal Rohatgi has revealed her Raaz Pichle Janam Ka. Writing about the experience about the show and her other thoughts she says:
I have always wondered why I am not so close with my dad as I am with my mom and brother.. Why do I get overtly possessive or say dependent in my relationships or friendships with men.
I am a very confident actor and human being in all my dealings in my life, but somewhere, where it comes to basic relationships or just picking up the phone to speak to my father, I feel very lost and insecure.. I guess I had realised to keep these feelings to myself as everyone has some or the other drawback in life or say weakness in better words.
I still remember I never had a simple ice cream outing with my dad or the fact he just smiled and spent time with me without scolding us... I felt, he always discouraged me and always put my ambitions in life on a back burner.
I hail from a middle class family, but as a child, I always aimed big and had a inner desire to excel in whatever I did, like, my studies, sprinting or mere participation of a fashion show.
I still remember that before my 12th board exams, my Physics, Chemistry and Biology professors had come home to wish me luck conveying to my father that they expect me getting distinction grades... However my dad said he would be happy if I got 50-60 %... When I heard this, I broke down and fought with him, 'why do you always understimate me?'
So such was my childhood where striving for excellence was not taught by my father and I yearned for it from the bottom of my heart... The desire to prove was so much that I came to mumbai by myself to pursue what I believed in.
My mom always supported me but somewhere I did not have my dad to depend on or cry on his shoulders.. I refuse to believe that he hated me or my brother as that would be challenging the basic love of parents for their own kin, but yes there was something amiss.
I chose to forget it and get on with the basic cycle of moving up in my career as an actor... But somewhere, the void was continuously there, as my friendship with men also got a bit claustrophobic with time and my dependence to look for a father figure.
When I saw the promos of this show I was intrigued, but a bit skceptical about the honesty and reality of it all... When I was offered participation, it seemed like an answer to my prayers to understand my only sensitive issue of my life.
I participated and it felt wonderful like winning a battle or solving the most tedious questionnaire... I was a BOY in my past birth and I had a life which went through a certain kind of betrayal that did explain my rapport with my father and generally men.
I would like to share more but that would spoil the curiosity related to the show and I would not wanna do that.. So hopefully, when this episode is aired in December you will here my side of story relating to the truthfulness of past life Karmas.
courtesy: itimes.com
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